Introvert- (n) [intrəˌvərt]:

One who focuses primarily on their own mind, feelings, or affairs

Extroversion- (n) [ekstrəˌvərt]:

Concern with what is outside the self

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My best friend, my confidant, my rock- my dog.

Molly: March 4, 2001 - February 10, 2011
Chasing deer, riding on the boat, and playing with her toys for eternity.

2011 has not been kind to me so far.

It's barely February and it's already taken my great-grandmother and today, my dog.

A week ago, the vet found that Molly's spleen was about to rupture and an emergency complete splendectomy. In surgery, however, they found a large tumor along with many smaller legions formed on the spleen. A biopsy was taken, and results would be returned Friday.

It's Thursday.

Molly became progressively weaker as the days went on. She breathed heavier, licked less, got up slower.. Mom ceased all activities and cancelled all commitments to stay home and tend to the dog. Despite her incredible efforts, Molly didn't respond. Several trips to the vet and an arsenal of drugs later, Molly failed to respond.

We were given the "make sure she's comfortable" shpeel, and she was. I said my goodbye this morning, and she passed at approximately 10:45 AM.

She was buried within the hour in the garden in the front of the house, which had been deemed on her second birthday "Molly's Garden" and consecrated with a sign and bench. She'll lay forever under that bench, under the shade of a tree. I like to imagine that she'll still be able to enjoy the summer sun she used to spend hours a day in. The plot is nice, breezy, shady, warm in the summer, with a nice view.. It's a very pleasant place to be.

Tonight was the first night in ten years I've come home and wasn't immediately greeting by a warm smile and wagging tail. It's strange to think that I never will see her again. 

It hasn't hit me yet. I don't believe it. I've scarcely cried for the shock. I am in shock. I'm in disbelief. I'm confused, disoriented, lost, sad, and distressed. I feel like I have lost my best friend.

But she knew she was loved, and she loved us. I don't care what people say, some animals have developed consciences. Molly had a brilliant personality, and I truly believe that she is the best dog I will ever and could ever have. I hope that I will never forgot her, who she really was.

I'll leave you with a quote by The Crow; "If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Building burn, people die, but real love is forever."

I love you, Molly, and I'll miss you forever. You taught me to love, you taught me to smile, and you were here when no one else was. We've been through a lot together, more than I could ever write in a million blogs, and I want to thank you. Thank you for everything. You were a blessing, and I will never take a second of memory for granted.

I could write forever and still never say enough to express our bond. The bond we had was stronger than any I believe I could ever have again. I can never forget you. I won't.

So through tears, I inadequately say:
  Thank you.
  I miss you.
  I love you.

זיכרונה לברכה ו'עליה השלום

Monday, February 7, 2011

People, Death, Living, and Fruit

Photo credit: Boris Taratutin, picture from Flickr, original can be found here

I'm fascinated by the multifaceted-ness of people; the way a person can be peeled like an onion, layer by layer until you reach the core of who they are and you realize what they're really made of. Stylings, pretensions, and facades on the surface, and then deeper into politics, religion, morals, stories, habits, inner-thoughts, secrets, shames, relations, hopes, dreams, and expectations. It thrills me. So try and peel back my layers. Maybe behind a seemingly chaotic array of post and information, you'll see a real person.

Whenever I pass a cemetery, I can't help but imagine who each person was. Every one of them had a Mom and a Dad who loved them. Maybe they left behind a brother, and perhaps children. What did they believe? What were their secrets? Who were they, REALLY? And it always leads me back to the same questions; can someone really live and then die and be forgotten like this? A. Sachs is quoted as saying "Death is more universal than life; everyone dies, but not everyone really lives". In 50 years, I might be dead, decaying, and forgotten. No matter what your views on the afterlife are, it's a little saddening to imagine a world that can continue as if it's just another day whether you're alive or dead. People will cry, they'll hear some of your life, songs will be sung, a coffin will be lowered, and then everyone will resume their life. Just another day.

If you've ever watched the movie adaptation of 'Night Mother, it was very cleverly staged. The basic plot of the movie, based off the play by Marsha Norman, is that a woman is going to kill herself. She is logically arranging the house so everyone can continue their lives when she tells her mother, who she lives with, of her plans; unemotional, just tired of living. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a few hours. Anyway, the last scene is a view of the house and a gunshot is heard. The angle is the same as it opened. Cars pass by, unknowing to what has just happened. The significance of the moment is that nothing happens. Nothing at all. It's just another day.

There are two ways to interpret the brevity of our lives; to accept an overwhelmingly depressing fact that our lives are, in fact, futile and are "but a walking shadow. A poor player/ That struts and frets his hour upon the stage/ And then is heard no more" (Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5, lines 26-28), or that we have been given a miraculous gift to better future generations for the rest of human eternity, as Barbara Hall said "You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act."

What do you choose? Do you take from the tree you have been given and eat the fruit or bury the seed so future generations will enjoy it?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Some things I like

I'll kick of this blog by plugging some online comics which makes mornings suck a little less.

First off is the comic I've been reading the longest: Cyanide and Happiness.
They're an extremely funny group of guys with a theme of unfortunate turns of events. They release comics and are starting to release short animations too. The best part? The release every day! Characters include the Purple-Shirted Eye-Stabber, Seizure Man, Premature-Ejaculation Man, Super Jerk, and the Incredible Sulk. Give them a visit or subscribe to their RSS at

Next up is another great: Amazing Super Powers
Wes and Tony release a new comic every Monday and Thursday. It's hard to tell what to expect from this comic, seeing as it has almost no plot. In fact, a plot will run for three comics at the most. When you scroll over a comic, you get a witty comment or extra quip, and to the right of the top right corner is a secret link to a secret comic. It's usually a rewrite of the comic with alternate text or an extra panel. Their website is LOADED with extra content, so be sure to check it out. The URL is (bet you wouldn't have guessed that one).

The last comic I'll mention in this post is Buttersafe:
Buttersafe has no ongoing plot, but it's always good for a giggle. Many of them leaving you thinking ".. what did I just read?" but with enough thought it'll plant the seed of curious laughter in your brain which should grow and flower just in time for the next comic to be released. Every Tuesday and Thursday, Raynato and Alex will plant their seed in you. Or something like that. Drop by at

I hope one of these sparked a fancy and that I've turned you on to something to look forward to every so often. I've got a few more comic sites but this entry is long enough and it's 2 AM. Let me know if you liked any of these, you've got a better comic, or even if anyones reading this..

Have you ever written something for an hour and then realized no one may ever read it? 

The Start

So this is a blog huh?
So I'm ten years late on the blog trend.
Any way, I don't really know what to use this for.
More likely than not, it'll be some random assortment of pictures, music, videos, and quotes I like.
With some rants thrown it.
If by some strange happening of fate, someone is actually reading this, leave a comment so I can panic about being judged by what I write!